


love is waiting

by carmeella (districtblue)



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, F/F, holy shit i just have so many feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-29
Updated: 2014-11-29
Packaged: 2018-02-27 11:01:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2690435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/districtblue/pseuds/carmeella
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Laura had gambled with fate, and sometimes it was worth it; but not always. Laura may have won the war, but she had lost something irreplaceable.</p>
            </blockquote>





	love is waiting

Laura strides down the hallways of the Lustig Building with a single-minded purpose. Carmilla can’t be dead. Not only is she a) immortal, she is also b) exasperating, c) the most terrible roommate in the world, d) somebody with the most headstrong and  _dogged_ attitude of anyone else she ever knew, and e)  _girls like her don’t just die like that._

She pushes through oblivious crowds of students going about with their daily lives, ignoring irritated glances and cross mutterings. There’s something to her that stops anyone from voicing a challenge, though - she has the air of someone who lives off desperate hope.

A steel door looms before her and she jerks the handle down too easily, leading her to where the violence happened. The whole area’s been cleaned and it smells overly purified, and there’s something bleakly erasing about the whole arrangement; it’s as if the fight never happened. But Laura’s expression is suddenly alive, her eyes trained towards the centre of the room.

 _She’s standing there,_ back facing her, jet-black hair and torn leather clothes unmistakable. A muted word falls from Laura’s lips, but the girl doesn’t hear her.

And then Laura’s walking, nearly running, though her footsteps are oddly silent. Her arms wrap around Carmilla from behind and breathes in, expecting the scent of blood - instead, she smells a certain sweetness that is uniquely Carmilla, and Laura doesn’t complain.

She grins at Carmilla’s uncharacteristic sound of surprise and spins her around, somehow. “Carmilla, you’re alright!” she gasps.

Laura's crying, yet laughing - Carmilla smiles adoringly, because Laura’s the only girl who could ever bring a smile to her face. “Laura,” Carmilla breathes, and then repeating her name once more for good measure. She brushes her fingers through Laura’s hair, looking up at her tear-stained cheeks and breathtaking smile.

“Oh, Carm,” Laura sighs. “Whatever happened to you?” she whispers, voice akin to bewilderment and immense relief evident in her breaking voice.

Carmilla opens her mouth to respond at the same time a startling bell goes off, somewhere in the far distance. Laura glances over her shoulder instinctively, vague curiosity pricking at the back of her mind but without much care. She turns back and stiffens in shock.

She is embracing nothing but the air.

…

Laura rolls out of bed and on her knees, and for a second she can hardly breathe. She presses her palms against her eyes, creating flashes of red and purple behind her eyelids, and then she gets up on her feet. She bundles herself up with a jacket and scarf, and for the first time in a long time, steps out of the dorm.

She stumbles her way through, till she reaches a relatively barren land. A matchbox slips out her pocket; she lights a match and stumbles some more, stopping only as she falls before a protruding mass of stone. A candle near the pillar catches the flame and it emits an eerie glow, setting the inscription into sharp relief.

_Here lies Carmilla Karnstein_  
1993-2014  
 _Victim of the Light_  
 _Forever in My Heart_

Laura’s forehead rests wearily against the stone. She thinks it’s ridiculous, to amount all of Carmilla’s warmth and spirit to a rock. She yearns for the chance to go back in time and confess all her feelings, to tell Carmilla everything she meant to her, to thank her for doing all the  _heroic vampire crap_ to save her life, time and time again. It’s a chance that will never be granted.

And she’s tired of this. Tired of waking up from a dream that she wants so badly to be real, of being thrust back to raw reality. Of watching Carmilla wrenched from her grasp again and again. Laura thinks she’s going crazy, because she sees her appear in her darkened dorm sometimes - lazily reading one of her novels, limbs stretched out like a cat, arms wrapped around the yellow pillow that Laura’s been keeping at Carmilla’s side of the bed for a while now. Laura reaches out to her, wondering if she’s really there.

But she’s not. She never is.

When you go to sleep with a broken heart, waking up is always the hardest part.

“I love you, you know,” Laura whispers, and she knows it’s too late.

…

Laura will never stop missing Carmilla; no matter how strong she tries to be for her friends, she’s only human, after all. But one day, she’ll pass from the world like Carmilla did, as will others.  _It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all,_ as she likes to tells herself, and she knows that the most she can do is hold out to hope that maybe one day, their paths can join again in the end.

Laura looks to a night sky full of stars and wonders if Carmilla’s watching over her, if she’s somewhere high above a planet that was simply too small to contain her beauty - if Carmilla took the advice she gave, and is finally able to run free.

...

_I could write a million songs about the way you say my name,_

_I could live a lifetime with you and then do it all again._

**Author's Note:**

> vaguely inspired by the song "love is waiting" by brooklyn fraser, and also the comic that shall not be named floating around on tumblr.


End file.
